She was found

Two years ago yesterday, Sadie was found.

Right here.
"Shan Anxian, female, was picked up at the gate of the welfare institue of Shantou city on Feb. 1, 2007. After a lot of investigation, Dongdun police station under the public security bureau of Shantou city could not find her birthparents, she was temporarily raised in the welfare institute of Shantou city on the same day. When she was admitted she wore a red coat and lying in a paper box....She was named Shan Anxian. Shan comes from the name of the city which means she was picked up in Shantou city. An means safe and happy. Xian means quiet and elegant. We hope she can find her family soon..."

- From the adoption paperwork her orphanage submitted to the CCAA so that Sadie could be made eligible for adoption


In China, there is no legal way to place a child for adoption. There is no way to choose an adoptive family for your child - no social workers to call for support, no paperwork to sign. There are no safe haven laws. Parents who find themselves with a child they cannot care for have a dismal set of options. (And there are a good number of parents who find themselves in that situation, due in part to the country's one-child policy, among other factors.)

The best of these options is what many would term abandonment. The child is left - often only hours or days old - alone. How can I call this the best option?

Because the child is not just left in some back alley or field, as I am sure many are that never get reported in the news like they do here in the US. The child was not aborted before birth. The parents that choose this option leave their child in a public place - train station, busy street corner, orphanage gate - so that their child will be found.

These parents risk criminal charges of abandonment by choosing this option. Leaving a baby in a place where it will be found brings the risk of being seen doing so. But it is the only way to have any hope that your child will be cared for.

I have had quite a few people who know this about China ask me about where Sadie was abandoned. It makes me cry to even write the words Sadie and abandon in the same sentence. I do not choose to think of it that way. Sadie's birthparents chose to place her for adoption, just like Sam's did, they just didn't have the mechanism to do so.

So instead of thinking about February 1 as the day Sadie was abandoned, it is the day she was found. Found and cared for by an orphanage and foster parents that helped shape her into the fun-loving, happy two-year-old she is today. Found later on a list by our adoption agency who matched her with our family. Found by us in a government office in south China to bring her home.

I only wish there was a way to tell her birthparents that the choice they made turned out ok. She was found. She is safe. She is well. She is loved. She is happy. She is one of the joys of our lives.