Blessed

It is 2a.m. and I am sitting in the bathroom of our hotel in Beijing typing. Not exactly how I planed on spending my nights (I LOVE to sleep any time of day, but particularly during the hours usually associated with bed). However, jet lag has been a powerful force - I sleep really well from about 9 p.m. until 2 a.m., but then wake up and can’t get back to sleep. The past 2 nights I have just been laying in bed trying not too move too much and wake Joe up. Well, that and try to convince my brain to stop thinking. Tonight I figured I should at least try to get some of those thoughts written down. (And I am in the bathroom so I won't wake Joe up, not because I have a particular affinity for typing while sitting on the toilet.)

Laying in bed, one thing that keeps into my mind is how this is not the place I thought I would be at this point in life, but I would not trade it for anything. Joe often likes to speculate on where we think we will be in five years - he likes to have a goal in mind. I, on the other hand, say wherever we are in five years is where we will be. However, five years ago I did have at least a slight bit of a plan in mind. We were about nine months into trying to get pregnant, and giving birth to at least a couple children was certainly on the list of things to do. We were living in Newton, IA. Joe had just started a new job on the corporate side of Maytag and I was teaching.

Funny how things change. By the next June we were both unemployed, had sold our house, and were planning on moving in with my parents. We had started infertility treatment but then suspended it due to our lack of incomes. Not exactly in anybody’s five year plan. (Of course, you all know it turned out ok since I am not sitting in my parent’s bathroom blogging right now. We did both become employed shortly, and spent a wonderful 3 years in Muscatine and then moved to Plainfield this February with another great job for Joe.)

If you had told me five years ago what was in store for us, I would have said “No, thank you. What are my other choices?” But sitting here in this place looking back, I am thankful for every single moment of it. All the tears, frustration, questioning and confusion have brought us to this amazing point in our lives. We have the world’s greatest son (I might be a little biased) and are about to receive our daughter. We are so thankful that God’s plan for us was not the same as the one we had. We would have missed so much.

The only word I can used to describe it is blessed. Blessed to have never conceived, because if we had, we would not be here. Blessed with such a wonderful son who brings such joy to us and so many others. Blessed by an adoption community I previously was only vaguely aware of. Blessed with a different understanding of God’s love and provision. Blessed with knowing God works in ways we don’t expect.